First things first, I failed to mention that Nastia’s 10-day appellate period was up on Friday. She’s been “officially ours” (in theory) for two days!
About today being Mother’s Day, this Mother’s Day just being a Mom is more than enough which is a good thing because today wasn’t much different than yesterday – but I think I was clear about yesterday; that it was one of the best days of my life! Henry continues to be a joy. He pushed the limits with us a little bit more today but then, cabin fever will make a boy delirious & mischievous! All things considered, it was normal kid stuff & nothing of concern.
This morning Henry asked, “Zaftra Odessa” (tomorrow)? When I said, “yes”, he fist pumped & said, “yeah!”. He’s either bored, ready to meet Nastia (which is - I do not think - what was behind the reaction), or done with Mariupol (more on that in a moment).
We ventured out to downtown Mariupol this afternoon (in case you’re wondering the smoke stacks are spewing – it’s a 24/7 thing – and Mariupol has NOT grown on me). Interestingly, Henry didn’t enjoy himself either. While I do believe he doesn’t like Mariupol either (more on that in a moment), there is likely a lot behind why he didn’t enjoy our first outing together. It is one of the complexities of having very recently been an orphan & not being able to communicate with your new parents (who you are pretty sure you are starting to trust but still need more time & evidence). First of all, he had no idea where we were going or why. He’s just ‘riding in the car’. Then we passed by his school & through the intersection that is only a few hundred yards from his orphanage. I watched him for a reaction; I couldn’t really read anything other than it was obvious he knew where we were. Then our driver let us out of the car at a supermarket which is how we do things. He drops us off, we walk around, meet friends & our driver picks us up later (we arrange this through our facilitator who speaks English). But Henry doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know that eventually we are going back to the apartment where he just left his personal belongings (the first personal belongings he’s had to his name in who-knows-how-long). And he doesn’t know that our driver didn’t abandon us & is coming back for us whenever we want. He doesn’t really know anything about what’s going on… It was hard for him. And as a parent, it is hard for us knowing what he was experiencing. But we recognized it in his behavior (very withdrawn from us – if we didn’t have previous experience with this it would have appeared like he was giving us attitude) as we saw this with Nastia as well & we called for our driver to come get us (but not before he scored himself a toy handgun – yes, I am the Mom is was never going to be…my kid’s packing heat…I am so anti-violence & I bought my kid a toy gun <smh @ myself> & a remote control care – which, in my defense – he had previously indicated he wanted one & I said we would get him one).
I would be worried that we need to move to Mariupol & live in this apartment for the rest of our lives (or at least until our son is an adult), but remember the earlier excitement about Odessa tomorrow? On the route back to the apartment, we crest a hill & in the distance is the most hideous, all-consuming view of the enormous, grotesque steel mill. This site has caused me to gasp every time I’ve crested that hill (note: I’ve tried to take a picture & I even included one in my blog, but it’s impossible to capture the totality of it without the 360-degree, 5-sense experience). So tonight, knowing it is the last time I will encounter this monstrosity of pollution because, yes it appears as though we have survived the Mariupol Marathon, and I waved at the steel mill & said, “Good bye Mariupol”. Henry smiled and said, “Hello Odessa”!
Once back in the apartment, all is right with our little guy’s world. He is back to our sweet & happy boy again.
And we do realize this will happen many more times before he trusts us. It is a difficult truth…
So, he has packed his backpack for the trip tomorrow & is now exploring my Droid – watching the short video of Nastia she made for him & repeating “Bye-bye Mariupol”. You decide for yourself how he feels about Mariupol… And maybe he’s even a little excited about his sister.
We have loved every minute of our time with him. God’s plan was perfection! I shudder to think had we followed *our* plan and not picked him up until tomorrow & gotten right on an overnight train to Odessa without having spent the last three days building a relationship with him.
And we are ready for what is next. As all Moms do, I have concerns about how our family of three (we have been a family of three both with Nastia & with Henry) will merge into a family of four. Only time will tell. But we are ready for what is next…
PS. I will most likely not be back (via blog) until at least Tuesday maybe later. Tomorrow night we will be on an overnight train that arrives in Odessa in the morning on Tuesday & we leave immediately for Belgorod & a full day of paper chasing for Nastya (& we’ll be signing her out of her orphanage – Can you say “bye-bye Belgorod?!”). And I’m sure we’ll have a family celebration Tuesday evening! If you don’t hear from me for a few days, fear not. I will be in ODESSA with my FAMILY J J!!
No comments:
Post a Comment